Thursday, May 8, 2014

Sorting Out Conflicts

Working Together Teamwork Puzzle Concept
Working Together Teamwork Puzzle Concept (Photo credit: lumaxart)

          Recently an issue came up concerning an online collaboration that I am engaged in with others whom I  have never actually met, but correspond with on an ongoing basis.  A few members of the group were having some difficulty with another who was not doing what had been expected of him.  It was a somewhat difficult situation for me since I was in a position where I needed to resolve the issue and ask the person in question to relinquish his position in the group if he could not satisfactorily defend past actions and commit to doing better in the future.

           This was even more awkward from the standpoint that I had not recognized any shortcomings of the party who was being blamed for poor performance and I considered this person a virtual friend.  I was expected to contact the individual and resolve the situation at hand.  I was not necessary exasperated, but this was a matter of some concern to me.

          That night during sleep I had a dream about this.  In the dream I envisioned certain things associated with this person and was discussing the matters face to face with the person.  Again, I will remind the reader that I have never met this person in waking life.  All was well in the dream and the issues were resolved amenably.  When I woke in the morning, though I couldn't remember the exact details of the dream, I remembered having the dream and felt better about the complicated situation that had faced me the night before.

           Can we resolve waking life conflicts in a dream or are these settlements illusory?    Does the working out of problems in dreams make it easier to come to waking life solutions?  Do you remember a dream that helped you come to terms with someone with whom you were having difficulties? 

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  1. My dreams are a bit too surreal to contain much in the way of problem solving. And I rarely, if ever, dream about a current situation either stressful or not. The only exception to that is after my dad died. It seemed I played out some of the stages of grief in my dreamworld. There were dreams where I was so, so over the top angry at him. After awhile, when he was in the dreams he didn't talk and no one else seemed to even notice he was there.

  2. I've never had a dream that really resolves things for me--but I can often tell what's bothering me from my dreams. When something major is coming up like what you described, I'll have repeated dreams about it. Initially it might seem as though my dream offers a resolution, but usually all it tells me is that my brain holds a lot of chaos!

  3. Perhaps its a subconscious message that anything can be settled if we do so with respect.

    I've had to give someone a talk about non-performance. I was also operating from second hand info, and it didn't go well. I hated having to speak to someone about something with which I had no info. Just a 'fix this'.

    I have my doubts that we would dream up a solution, but maybe one day if we get improved brains.

  4. JoJo -- In previous posts I've talked about my dreams about my deceased father. Like in your dreams, my father is usually silent and unnoticed. These dreams make me feel comforted. How do your dreams about your father make you feel? Dream life is symbolism I think and it does provide some sort of interpretation about your current life. Look more closely.

    Stephanie -- Dreams often tend toward the chaotic and confusing side. The solutions to problems might actually be revealed to you and you just don't recognize them. I think this frequently happens with me.

    DG -- I hate being in the middle of any situation where I have to filter and decipher data to make a decision. I do believe that dreams can provide solutions if we examine them closely or at least the dream might lead us in the right direction to come to a solution.


  5. Lee-

    I have found that nothing resolves conflict faster than a flamethrower...which was invented by the laziest person on earth, who was obviously thinking:

    "I'd really like to kill those people, but I just don't wantto walk all the way over there..."

    What is interesting is, that when I have a conflict in my waking life that manifests itself in a dream (I do remember some of my dreams), the conflict is one from my childhood, and usually a silly one that goes unresolved, yet I wake up with a lot of tension in my lower back (which is where stress seems to manifest itself with me).

    Usually the dream does not help me resolve the conflict...


  6. If dreams would resolve issues, that would be incredible. For me, dreams are manifestations of problem X 2.

  7. Larry -- Could those dream conflicts somehow be relating to problems that are current and you don't see the connection. Maybe you are being presented with solutions and just looking at things the wrong way.

    Susan Kane -- But they might and you haven't understood the solution being presented to you. We rarely remember enough of our dreams to use the data delivered within our subconscious.



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The Dreamer