Thursday, September 6, 2012

The Family That Dreams Together: A Guest Post from Faraway Eyes

         A couple months ago I had a series of posts that touched upon or discussed the concept of dreams shared with other people or simultaneous dream experiences and telepathy in dreams.    You can find those posts here, here, and here.  In the comments of those posts, we were joined by the blogger known as Faraway Eyes from the blog Far Away Series.  She promised to share one of her shared dream experiences and today she makes good on her promise.

dramatic dreamdramatic dream (Photo credit: unNickrMe)
I first became aware of simultaneous dreaming one day when my daughter came to me seriously distraught. She had a nightmare that she wanted my reassurance about, but really didn’t want to tell it to me. She started into this elaborate dream, which I was in, when she got to the point that really disturbed her, I was able to finish the dream with the exact description she was going to use. We found out, at that time, that we both had the same dream. We both dreamed that I had died. I was unfazed by the whole thing. I often dream that I die. She was truly upset. I reassured her that I had no plans to die and that dreaming this was pretty normal for me. We were then able to compare notes on the dream and all of the details matched up.

In the future anytime either of us ‘stars’ in a dream of the other we get together and compare notes to see if we have dreamed the same thing on the same night. It seems to happen often. At one point my daughter related a dream to me, (I can’t remember the topic or description now) that I was not present in, but I did have a very similar dream that same night and she didn’t appear in mine. It was not over an event or any stimulus that we might have remotely shared. This seemed freakier than dreaming the same dream where each of us was present.

I first became aware of this when my daughter was a teenager, she is now a grown woman with children of her own (I’ll accept NO wisecracks here about my supposed or perceived age as to what it actually might be. Ha!). About the time I first mentioned this in a comment on one of the earlier posts linked in the introduction, at the beginning of the summer; my six year old granddaughter was spending four days and three nights a week with me, while her mother worked. 

One night I had a rather disturbing dream about being left in the rain forest by some friends to find my own way home. I made it out OK, but was uncomfortable with the situation of being abandoned by folks that I thought were my friends. The following morning at breakfast, my granddaughter tells me she had a nightmare that really scared her. She goes on to relate the same nightmare that I had. I of course, was not in it, and the people who abandoned her were not the same as the ones who abandoned me, but they were friends she trusted, just as me. We did not appear in each other’s dreams, but we seemed to have had the same nightmare. This has absolutely no connection to a movie we watched, or a story I read to her or any other outside stimulus. This one really freaked me out. This nightmare was uncomfortable for me, but it was a lot more terrifying for a six year old. I’m also left wondering if my granddaughter shares dreams with her mother. Upon asking my daughter, they have never connected on this, but then with a six year old, she probably isn’t telling, even if she even remembers, all of her dreams.

I’m very close with this daughter although she is not my only child. Also, with this granddaughter, more so than my other grandchildren. We seem to have not only a physical attachment, but one that is spiritual also. Could that be the reason we share dreams? Is it some spiritual communications? Is a six year old capable of this without conscious thought? Apparently so. The occasion has never come up to discuss my dreams openly with others much, but I wonder if there are other people that I or someone else might be as connected to that we are possibly sharing dreams.

I would be extremely interested to hear if anybody else has had a similar experience or just what others think of this. Other than, of course, that I am a total nut case, which is always possible.

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  1. I don't think I've ever shared a dream with anyone. Amazing you've shared them with your daughter and granddaughter.

  2. Nope, the idea of shared dreams is totally new to me. Neat, but spooky too.

  3. I've never shared a dream, but my wife and her mother always share dreams. Always. It's the oddest thing. Perhaps it's more of a female thing? I'd be horrified if I started sharing dreams with Brandon...

  4. I had two friends that fell asleep holding hands and they had the same dream too!

  5. Haven't knowingly shared a dream with anyone. Hubs and I used to compare dreams and came to the conclusion that what worries us usually comes out in a dream. As an older sister left to watch siblings, I used to dream I'd lose one of them. . .

    My mother used to dream things that would happen soon after, such as people visiting, someone getting sick (before we got the news). I think some people are more sensitive to these mental connections and some suppress them. After all, don't 'they' say we don't use all our mental capacity?

    Interesting post, thanks for sharing.

  6. I haven't had a similar experience, but dreams I think are fascinating topics to explore.

  7. Alex - It's amazing to me too.

    Bish - Yeah, spooky too.

    Beer Boys - So glad to hear it's not only me.

    Libby - I wonder if they would also share dreams with touching. In my case, my daughter and I have been thousands of miles apart, on some of these occasions.

    DG - Interesting. Not many would think of me as using more of my mental capacity than normal. But, then not many think of me as normal either.

  8. This was a very interesting blog bit. If I have ever "shared" a dream with someone else, I am unaware of it. It's not uncommon for me to describe to family members particularly vivid or bizarre dreams I've had, but so far, none of them have ever said, "Stop! I know what you're going to say next because I had that same dream".

    However, it does not surprise me in the least that apparently some family members do experience "simultaneous shared dreams". As I related in an earlier post linked to this page, a friend of mine, living in a state nearly 400 miles from my own, once had a dream that was based on something I'd said to my Mom one day in passing. So naturally the phenomenon described here by FarAwayEyes is easy for me to believe.

    When we're asleep, the conscious mind takes a vacation and allows the subconscious mind to come to the foreground to process information and work on spiritual matters.

    When I was a child, I had a "lucid dream" (an awareness that I was dreaming while in the dream state), and I used this lucid dream to free myself from a recurring nightmare I'd been experiencing. That was probably the event that first planted it into my young mind that dreaming was an important aspect of our earthly lives and it played a part in forming a personal philosophy that I now hold.

    I also think it's significant that dreams figure prominently as sources of Divine guidance and prophecy in both the Old and New Testaments of The Bible. It is no accident that God has designed us to dream.

    So, I think the next step is to begin contemplating which dreams are shared, when, and why? Is there any particular theme that can be discerned in the dreams that are shared, and if so, what is it that the dreamers are meant to learn from it? I have no doubt that there is a purpose or a message to be found in dreams that are shared; there is some REASON for them that waits to be discovered by study over time.

    After finding that a dream has been shared, the dreamers might even want to ask for an interpretation of it before going to sleep the following night. I did once have a dream that I couldn't interpret, but shortly afterwards had a second dream that interpreted the first one for me. So such a thing IS possible.

    Thanks to FarAwayEyes for composing this very intriguing blog bit and to Boidman for hosting it.

    ~ D-FensDogg
    'Loyal American Underground'

  9. I've never had a simultaneous dream, but have had similar dream "tones" with family members. Dreams are so fascinating!

    There's a Welsh band that has a lovely song called Faraway Eyes :-)

  10. WOW! I've never heard of "dream-sharing" before! That's amazing!

    My immediate thought (as a mom) was that maybe you're so incredibly sensitive to your daughter's well-being and state of mind (and your granddaughter's too) that you're "picking up" their dreams, sort of like an antenna...not that I'm trying to discount the dream-share theory. It's just what first came to my mind...
    Some Dark Romantic

  11. Studying psychology and psychiatry for a passion I encounter lots of similar cases. I mean, not psychotic cases; it seems to be quite common, although it never happened to me.
    It reminds me of Jung's concept of Collective Unconscious, a sort of mystical participation in each other that links all of us by means of a spiritual chain. Of course, the sensitive ones are those who have experiences.

    I learned that outer stimuli are rarely responsible for our dreams. Besides, outer stimuli happen throughout the day. We have thousands of them in a day. The outer stimuli theory still wouldn't suggest why our unconscious would choose that particular image or experience from the day to communicate with us, and not another of the many events that occurred that day.
    Well, it seems you have a go with your granddaughter!

  12. I never remember dreams and have not for a long time now....

    The Ghost Writer who as you may be aware is the Ghost Writer has a sixteen year old Granddaughter and thirteen year old Grandson.. so old is all in the mind and with age comes wisdom (sorry I mean madness.

  13. Sorry it has taken me so long to get back to some of you. I had to make an unplanned trip out of town.

    Michael - Indeed they are.

    STMc - As usual a very insightful comment. I have often wondered if perhaps I share all dreams with my daughter and granddaughter. Of course, daughter already thinks I'm crazy, so bugging her about every dream I have might be too much confirmation. Often she tells me her dreams and many are not familiar to me.

    I do think that as it is possible to share conscious thought with those people we are connected to (like hoping for a success or renewed health - things like that) it certainly could be possible to share dreams or unconscious thought with others also.

    I would be curious to know if I am able to share dreams with someone other than family members, but not too sure how to figure that out, without looking like a complete lunatic.

    When it comes to interpreting dreams, I tend to over-think things and end up with far too many probable solutions. I have not thought of asking for an interpretation before I go to sleep of a previous dream. I'll have to try that.

    Deniz - Would love to hear that song. If you see this and have the ability, leave a link. Or tell me the name of the band. There is one "The Girl With the Far Away Eyes" by the Rolling Stones.

    Jay - Interesting comment. I would direct you back to my comment to STMc.

    I do believe that it is possible to share both conscious and unconscious thoughts with others.

    Rob - Thanks, I feel the madness often.

    I appreciate all of the comments and helpful ideas. I am also grateful that no one openly said; 'what kind of a nut bar is this woman?'

    Arlee, thank you for the opportunity. I know I was reluctant at first, but it turned out to be great fun.

  14. Thank you, Faraway Eyes, for sharing your experience with us. And thank you to all who have joined in the discussion with us.

    It's not over yet, so anyone feel free to add your thoughts.


  15. Deniz -- I like it. This recording sounds like some of the stuff I used to listen to back in the 70s. Good stuff.


  16. Deniz, thanks for introducing me to Gorkys Zygotic Mynci. What a great group! I've been listening to their YouTube channel since I listened to "Faraway Eyes". This is some of my favorite kind of music. Great stuff!


  17. Oh, I'm so glad you like them! They're one of my favourite bands. Barafundle, Spanish Dance Troupe and The Blue Trees and - oh, who am I kidding, I love all their albums!

  18. Mina - You could be right. I certainly can't figure it out.

    Deniz - A thousand thank yous. I love it. If you take a peek at my blog, you will note how absolutely appropriate it is. Way better than the Rolling Stones, although I like their song also.

    Arlee, again thank you. That song was the icing on the cake.

  19. I think you, your daughter, and her daughter are sensitive and share that thread in probably everything you do. Do you react to events the same way? Do you ever eat the same meals, but you are not together? Nothing strange at all--just a closeness that you are lucky to share.

  20. Susan - Interesting thought, while we are very close in some respects, there are others in which we differ greatly. I have a strong sense of being connected to people both in and out of my family.

  21. Wow that's amazing, I thought that kind of thing only happened in movies. Seems like a good thing though and you are all clearly connected in some way. The closest I've ever come to anything like that is when we were kids, me and my sis would have conversations with each other in our sleep! :)


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